


Arthur& Merlin's Excellent Adventure

by BleedingHeart911



Category: Camelot myths, Red Shoes and the 7 Dwarfs (2019)
Genre: Arthur and Merlin Friendship, Disney References, Fairy Tales, Inspired by..., Other, Shrek References, Sword and the Stone, The Mists of Avalon, but if you're inspired to ship them during some parts be my guest, this is like a prequel to Red Shoes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingHeart911/pseuds/BleedingHeart911
Summary: Before the Fearless Seven and Snow White there were adventures in Camelot.  I've never watched the BBC series so don't expect references from there.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

  
The city of Camelot’s towers scraped skies and their people never slept. There were too many interesting things to do during the day and night. Thespians, musicians, scholars, heroes and travelers from around the world melted into Camelot like a rich stew. Even the poorest citizen could laugh and be proud of their King Uther. The joy and heart of King Uthur was his son Arthur. The young prince held the respect and prosper in his strong hands like a dignified lion.  
“Let’s party!” Prince Arthur screamed over the roar of the band. The minstrels played at top volume and the youths in the woods danced most scandalously.   
A fellow from his training squad dared Arthur to eat a dozen eggs, shells included. Arthur ate five dozen eggs and crushed the shells in his checks.  
“Very good, my sneaky squirrel!” Princess Morgana said as she raised a glass to her brother.  
Arthur laughed and wiped the yolks from his chin. He hugged Morgana with the sticky arm, lifting her off her boots.  
“Morggy, thanks for bringing the powered puff crowd. They’re a riot.” Arthur said, laughing at the thespians in their funny ways of talking and unique glitter makeup.  
“Gotta bring some culture to this pig den you call friends.” Morgana said, she burped and giggled as she put a finger to her lip.  
“Ahh, gotta blow off the steam from-“ Arthur slung back and groaned, “The lectures. You know I think Da’s getting more boring just to see if I’m paying attention.”  
“Are you?” Morgana asked as she petted a small black and white horse someone had brought from the sales markets.  
“I’m falling asleep, that’s what I’m doing.” Arthur said as he filled up his red solo goblet. “You try listening to those old sheep ramble.”  
“Tried once. I snuck in and almost went mad!” Morgana said sticking out her tongue and shaking her spiky hair. “You better shake those bone bags when you’re in charge.”  
Arthur pushed his sister’s shoulder. “Me in charge. Why you say such scary things, girlie?”  
“C’mon boy, you’re already a great leader.” Morgana said as they watched some happy jester take off his trousers while juggling. He didn’t drop one ball.  
“Nah, I don’t think so.” Arthur said, a strange sadness in his blue eyes.  
Morgana saw the glint and sensed he was upset. “What? What’s with you?”  
“Hey, Morg, you think if we lit that girl’s hat on fire she’ll feel it?” Arthur asked pointing to a girl with a pointy pink hat with a sheer trail drifting from the top.  
“It’d take a few minutes, but hey. I just noticed Gewn isn’t around. Where-“  
“Excuse me, my fine lady, I have a bet going!” Arthur said as he walked towards the pink hat.  
The realization Arthur was terribly upset began to upset Morgana. Smacking on a big fake smile Morgana mingled with the knights from Arthur’s training squad. After a few cheesy shots they revealed to her that Gwen was found rolling with a bloke called Lance around-a-lot. Morgana asked an acquaintance from her secret Hex-of-the-Month club and they verified the gossip was the truth.  
Morgana’s fury had her desire to see burning the traitorous whore on a stake. She grabbed a glass goblet and broke it off on a tree. Seeing the jagged glass scared her so Morgana decided on a different plan of action.  
In the castle of Tailiesin there lived the oldest wizard in Camelot. Charzard Tailiesin wrote some of the earliest books on magic and had the most reprints of any sorcerer of the time. A tenured scholar and strict tutor of the few student he chose under rigorous exams. One particular student he focused on was refusing to meet his unreasonably high expectations.  
“Keep your shoulders back!” Charzard demanded as the young wizard preformed a simple agricultural spell.  
Merlin knew his shoulders were perfect and the ancient coot was just talking to hear himself. The advanced spell of regrow was tricky but Merlin kept focus. The proof was in the curling green leaves from the seed, the sight was five weeks happening in seconds.  
“Don’t rush the process. Your spell is only as strong as your will. There isn’t strength in rushing.” Charzard said as she walked around Merlin.  
Yesterday I was moving too slow so there really never will be pleasing you, Merlin thought as his plant grew taller and the tiniest hint of a tomato peaked out green.  
Charzard looked aghast. “What is that? A vegetable? I told you to grow a daisy.”  
“It’s actually a fruit.” Merlin said, he regretted speaking so much.  
“Don’t smart at me, boy! This is serious power you’re playing with! Do you have any idea what danger magic had cause if you make a mistake?” Charzard stated, pounding his cane on the carpet.  
“I don’t make mistakes.” Merlin stated.  
Charzard began to grumble then shouted, “Da Mi! Come do something about your son!”  
The woman Merlin got his eyes from came into the room. An elf held an ash tray under her cigar.  
“Charzard dear, remember what the medic said about your blood pressure.” Da Mi Tailiesin said, amused by the red in her husband’s ears.  
“Your child doesn’t listen to a word I say.” Charzard said to the tall woman who loomed over his balding head.  
Da Mi walked over to Merlin and hugged his head to her neck, “My beautiful baby, don’t ignore your father. You know it’s not very nice.”  
Merlin sighed, “Yes, mother. My apologies, Father.”  
“There. All is better.” Da Mi said with a clap of her hands.  
Charzard continued to complain as Merlin’s mother pushed strand of hair from his face.  
Da Mi kissed her son on his head and said, “Now dearest, it’s time you looked over the notes I left in your manuscript.”  
“You want to dumb it down for the soft-minded, unworthy-“ Charzard began as his wife lead him out the room, “Merlin, start reading from page three hundred and ninety four!”  
After his parents and the elf closed the door Merlin slouched back.   
“Oh, your own blood is unworthy of lessons but at least the randos pay to read your dribble.” Merlin complained in the silence. He swung out his arms and looked at the plant with the sprouting fruit.  
“That’s a damn good tomato for someone who’s not a thousand years old.” Merlin stated.  
“I’d put it in my omelet.” Said a voice from the dark.  
“When did you get here?” Merlin asked, not surprised Morgana snuck into a library full of spells.  
Morgana sat with her feet dangling off a big, uncomfortable chair. She flipped through the spell book Merlin’s father spoke of.  
“I’ve always been here. By the way, your da’s beard looks like a third arm.” Morgana said as she scribbled in the thick book.  
Merlin gave a half chuckle and sat on the window ceil. He studied Morgana as her eyes manically darted through diagrams and magical formulas. Morgana’s black hair was chopped spikey with a layer of straight auburn hair draped to her lower back. Her blue eyes were small, her nose a bit too much but her smile had dimples and her small waist made a nice curve of her form. Merlin had enjoyed making love to her fine and well but he more enjoyed talking with her about spells.   
Morgana threw the book to the floor with a thud and waved her hands. “Oh, right, I’ve gotta tell you about the rager Arthur is throwing to hide his broken heart.”  
“Did someone else claim Excalibur?” Merlin asked, he liked the idea of some drinks and girls dancing.  
“Don’t even joke.” Morgana said, running to pull on his collar. “That Gwen did him wrong and he’s smashing his head against the knight’s helmet to numb the pain.”  
“Uggh,” Merlin rubbed his temples, “How could this happen? Gwen was so lovely and polite, and Arthur treated her like a stallion.”  
“C’mon then!” Morgana pulled on his arm, “You’ve gotta grunt and fart and guy talk him better.”  
“He has his knight pals for that.” Merlin said as put on a dark cloak. The cloak matched his castle’s wallpaper so he could sneak past his busy parents.   
“Yeah but you’re less of an idiot and he listens to you.” Morgana drew out a spell on a slip of paper. With a dramatic clap of her hands a ghost-Merlin made of trick lights appeared on the window ceil. The ghost-light read from a ghost-light-book and made a very serious ‘thinker’ face.  
If she weren’t a woman she’d be considered a prodigy, Merlin thought. “You’re quite clever, you know?”  
“He says with a tone of surprise.” Morgana said as raised her own hood and followed him out the door.  
The get-together was still loud and the guests began coupling up in trees and corners. In this opportunity Merlin had taken Arthur aside with some rough mead to talk in the forest.  
“I thought Gwen was the one. She had the biggest,” Arthur gestured to his pecs, “Heart. My children would’ve been so happy.”  
Merlin patter his back as he took a drink from the bottle. “I liked Gwen and her big hearts but she doesn’t deserve you. She’s a very pretty mad woman for losing you.”  
“You think so, mate?” Arthur ask as sat against a rotting log.  
“Absolutely. Forget her, take up another girl. You’re big, so why not two.” Merlin said, smacking his comrade’s toned biceps.  
“You’re right, get two girls, get Gwen jealous and get her back.” Arthur said, swinging an arm around his skinny friend.  
“I’ve had four drinks and half that bottle so I’m going to say that’s a great idea!” Merlin said with a slight slur.  
Arthur put his index fingers to his forehead. “Think, think, who’s better looking than Gwen?”  
“Very few people, Arthur your arm is very cozy-“  
Merlin tried to rest his head on Arthur’s deltoid but the prince perked up and rocked him to the side.  
“Not a people! The Water Lady!” Arthur said as he pointed into the woods.  
“Water lady? Like a barmaid or-“ The young wizard watched his friend sprint into the unknown. Merlin followed out of loyalty and in hopes a cup of water would set his mind even.  
What felt like hours of walking was the trail to the River of the Lady of the River. A nymph they said to be so beautiful foolish men drowned themselves for the promise of cheek peck. Drunk off their asses and high on bread mold Merlin and Arthur were no fools, in their humble opinions.  
“You know, Merlin, I love you.” The tipsy Arthur admitted with a strangling hug, “Ever since you shrunk me down and we fought to the death against those squirrels. Remember that?”  
Merlin laughed heartily, “I gave the pelts to Morg. She put them on dolls and it’s pretty hilarious.”  
“If you had to choose between me or Morggy who’d you pick?”  
“You, one thousand percent. Morgana is pretty great but she’s weird and flaky.” Merlin said with full honesty.  
“Hey watch it now, that’s my weird little sister you’re talking about.” Arthur warned with a wag of his hand.  
“No, no don’t get me wrong I adore Morgana, I just know I won’t fall for her. It’s like she’s guy, I care for her like a bud. Like how I care for you, except I….” Merlin cut himself off because he and Morgana had promised not to tell Arthur about their fling. They agreed it would freak him out and ruin the whole dynamic.  
“You’re a good looking dude, Merlin, I can admit that, but you’re still not cool enough for that sweetpea.” Arthur said with a hand to his heart.  
“You remember Morgana’s four years older than you, right?” Merlin asked, he looked up at the moon. “Any way, where is that river?”  
“What river?”  
“I don’t know, you said something about a river. I’m thirsty.” Merlin sadly sad as the hard-mead bottle turned over and dripped nothing.  
“I’m thirsty too. Keep that bottle.” Arthur said and they stood up and continued walking.  
The sun rose a magnificent pink in the orange sky. Arthur snored and ignored the warmth. He was comfortable in a twiggy nest while spooning a tight little thing that smelled like library dust.  
Merlin felt snuggled and cozy as a housecat but his dreams ended with a loud caw in his ear. He opened his dark brown eyes strangely large twigs and feathers which reminded Merlin of the squirrel incident.  
Arthur’s thick arm held him down but Merlin squirmed out enough to push over the nest’s side and see the tops of the forest. Good news was the trees were regular huge to an average size man, so they weren’t transfixed into squirrels in the middle of the night. The bad news was they were in a humanoid size nest thirty-feet high.  
Merlin grabbed Arthur’s chin and shook, “Arthur! Mate, wake up!”  
“Honeylamb, let’s stay in bed for round two.” Arthur dozily said, pulling Merlin closer.  
Uninterested in the invitation Merlin grabbed Arthur’s nose and covered his mouth. The prince turned pink and jolted awake. He realized his snuggle-mate was Merlin so he cleared his throat and pushed away.  
“You know a flying spell? You’ve been holding out on me, buck.” Arthur said as he dropped an animal bone over the side. He waited for the drop plunk, but it didn’t come.  
“I don’t and this is horrifying.” Merlin said, unbuttoning his shirt because he felt the air thin. The wizard said he did have a spell to stiffen their skins so during the climb down the branches wouldn’t completely slice them to ribbons.  
Arthur felt a pins-and-needle chill up his arm as Merlin drew the spell on his knuckle. Merlin took a cracked bone and pressed it to Arthur’s leg. To Arthur it felt like a thick quilt was between him and the bone. Merlin applied the spell to himself but couldn’t be forced to move from his seat.  
Arthur climbed down the sword-sharp branches with Merlin slung on his back.  
“If you say a word about this, I will press lightening threw your skull.” Merlin severely warned. Arthur chuckled, he felt the night before buffet calories burn as he slid down the trunk. Each step was a risk but he dug his hands and heels into the bark like a furious bear.  
“What’d you think brought us up there?” Arthur wondered outloud.  
“Some horrendous eagle or demon falcon? Who knows? We’ve stumbled into the wilder parts of the woods.” Merlin said, his eyes closed and his ears picked up the whistles of enchanted beasts.  
“Lady of the River! That’s what we were looking for. You see any river behind us?” Arthur asked.  
“Nope, I do not. Arthur, if my arms give out and I fall to my death I want you to know you’ll be a fine king. I’d vote for you if Camelot became a democracy. No matter what Gwen said.” Merlin admitted.  
“When did Gwen say anything to the contrary?” The offended Arthur asked.  
“Oooh, confession time; she never said it plainly, but you could hear at certain times during the double-dates. Those little catapult nudges between her and I? I wanted them to be jokes but deep down I knew she was a disrespectful hog.” Merlin said between pants, he knew there was a chance Arthur would push him off.  
Arthur sighed, “I heard them too. I just loved her so much I thought I’d prove her wrong. I hoped she’d be the tough queen behind her king.”  
“The fact you’re open to being wrong once in a while makes you a better leader.” Merlin said, crossing his arms around Arthur’s neck because the sweat felt slippery.  
“You know amigo, if you had the delicate lady-parts you’d be the queen behind me.”  
“Arthur, that’s so sweet.” Merlin said with half sincerity and half mockery.  
“It’s nice to see men open about their feelings.” A harpy said on the branch next to them.  
She was as big as a horse with brown wing-arms spread ten-feet wide. Her torso and head resembled a rather attractively tanned and toned woman, but the boys were thrown off by the drumstick legs with talons.  
Her unnaturally black eyes twitched as she smiled and stretched closer to Arthur. Merlin held a spell to her strange face in warning. His arm was seized by another harpy who pulled him off Arthur and sent Arthur falling. The prince hollered at the rush of air. His broad shoulders were pierced and snatched by a harpy. He didn’t know if she were the first or another, he kept his eyes shut to keep the dinner down.


	2. Author's Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important ramblings*

Arthur and Merlin's beguiling character structures were big reasons I liked _Red Shoes_. Merlin was young, cute and knew it, and insecure mixed with shallow. Instead of the honest and noble boy-scout they made Arthur a soft Gaston. The were the most petty of friends and their I-know-you-too-well attitudes were a treasure to watch.

I wondered how this version hung out at home-castle? Castle cliques and witchcraft a regular occurrence and science? Sounds fun.

And hey, wasn't there a girl between the two old friends? Morgana Le Fey: Arthur's half sister and Merlin's ex. A powerful sorceress and villainess to behold. Reinventing Morgana I couldn't bring myself to make her evil. It felt too run of the mill; not another Loki or Hela. How about in this version Arthur and his sister get along? Nah, love hanging out?! 

It's actually very tricky to find a team-good sorceress. Claudia from _the Dragon Prince_ and Eclipsa from _Star vs The Forces of Evil_ are both charming and mostly neutral but I don't want typical dark magic in Morgana's plans. Nothing too preachy like Elphaba of _Wicked_ or Hermonie Granger.

My Morgana disconnects from the norm like Luna Lovegood. She likes drumming to her own beat and takes people's misunderstanding in stride. She doesn't believe she can or has to change the world but does believe in tiny kindnesses. I've recently seen _Amélie_ for the 50th time so I take that independent and endearing spirit when typing.

Without Elphaba's soapbox, I can still easily see Morgana becoming a target of mass-disapproval simply for being a woman in a royal family. Arthur and Merlin trust Morgana and she values them. She also snarks at them good-naturedly but holds some grudges against them like any family members do after years and years of close quarters.

I swear now I will not write Morgana to become revenge/ power seeking Villainess. She can grow bitter and do mean or wrong things but she will be responsible and sturdy in the face of adversity. Again, trying to avoid writing her into the typical. Wish me luck.


End file.
